GCSE Stands For General Certificate Of Secondary Education. They Are Highly Valued By Schools, Colleges And Employers AS (Advanced Subsidiary) And A (Advanced) Level Qualifications Normally Take Two Years To Complete Full-time In School Or FE College, Alt 129min1080p60fps

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class! The examination was two hours long, and exam booklets were provided. The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. 1/2 hour into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked the professor for an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet. "Yes I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the professor called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. 1/2 hour later, the last student came up to the professor who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there. "No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." The student looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know WHO I am?" "No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the professor with an air of sarcasm in his voice. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again. "No, and I don't care." replied the professor with an air of superiority. "Good," replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room. COLLEGES How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb? One. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him. How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb? None. New Haven looks better in the dark. How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under pressure. How many Missouri State students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to complain about how if they were at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out. How many MIT students does it take? Five. One to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs charging, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston with the lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch. How many Columbia students does it take? Seventy six. One to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right not to change, and twenty five to hold a counter protest. PARENTAL EXCUSES NOTES 1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33. 2. Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. 3. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault. 4. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side. 5. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face. 6. Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor. 7. Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over. 8. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him. 9. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part. 10. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines. 11. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip. 12. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. 13. Maryann was absent Dec. 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night. 14. Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is administrating. 15. George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach. 16. Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout. 17. Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. 18. Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals. THE TOP 10 LIES TOLD BY GRADUATE STUDENTS 10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street. 9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article. 8. My work has a lot of practical importance. 7. I would never date an undergraduate. 6. Your latest article was so inspiring. 5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here. 4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing. 3. The department is giving me so much support. 2. My job prospects look really good. 1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years. YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN AT UNIVERSITY TOO LONG WHEN... * You consider McDonald's "real food" * You actually like doing laundry at home * 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends * It starts getting late on the weeknights * Two m by tozmisalad